Too Scared to age regress?
Introduction
As an autistic person I find the concept of ‘age dreaming’ and ‘age regression’ can be a specific focussed Interest. As it seems liberating but still uncomfortable to express and talk about or buy a pacifier pop it in a mouth turn on kids show and ditch the idea that what we see as child like isn’t exclusive to children. This article tackles the stigma and promotes the idea of normalisation and de-stigmatising a lifestyle that isn’t understood by the population at large there is in society as a whole isn’t accepting of the idea and open to it, there is a lot of the phobia. This is age-regressive and age-dream positive. As a neurodivergent disabled person this focusses on how and why people within the communities regress and how it can help and what we shouldn’t be afraid of. This isn’t an article that goes in-depth into the kink culture but in respect of the AB/DL community supports such lifestyles standing to challenge claims to ‘grow up’ or ‘its perverted’ only supportive of the lifestyles of consenting adult behaviour (Lets make it clear). But to ask why people regress and what we shouldn’t fear and what can be gained from It. Any research is reliant of blogs, social media records and commentary on forums as there Is yet to be of good quality reporting of the age regression community that is justly classes as adequate representation. As it is still a taboo most media trivialises, mocks and jokes about it to make people feel ‘other for such behaviours only need to look at the BBC Three 2010 series ‘Freak Like Me’ by it’s title an 18 year old was featured for her behaviour of sucking a dummy the british term for a pacifier, proud of it and willing to dump any boyfriend over it, as the dummy is a part of her. The title maybe part of the stigma making it freakish and that needs to change. Do we need to be discrete?
This could be of many posts but want to explore a topic I have become aware of in my teens as think round the age of ten and eleven fancied a pacifier this is something I kept quiet atleast til last year of comprehensive school only really to mother. There Is something I desired to retreat and regress it seemed comforting. Even without trauma but with anxiety then autism and undiagnosed self diagnosed ADHD for the sensory seeking socially divergent of a more time where I didn’t want to grow up and ageing seemed to caused anxiety. For some Its easy to see the envy of Peter Pan.
What Is Age Regression?
If I am an age regressor, I age dream. Age dreaming ‘technically’ isn’t under the age regressor umbrella as you are mentally returning and ‘regressing’ to the state of pre adolescent age to ages of babies and toddler. Age dreaming is within the state of an adult mind not separating yourself from the adult world not entirely you still acting child like. But it may not be ‘childish’. It isn’t something that isn’t just for fun but it is fun. I’m saying It like this as it isn’t a joke as It should be free and normal for adults to do so for what reason they wish.
Age regression can form from varying reasons includeing as health webpage Verywellhealth.com stated it can be treatment that Involves therapies (something historically psychological professionals have tended to treat) something in children temporary. But when it reports on adult age regression it can be described as something relating to trauma and relation to disordered mental health in adults most likely occurring with those who are neurodivergent or neuro-development states this might not always apply. But the de-sexualised non-sexual age regressing is commonly trauma inflicted seeking comfort and to be self soothed in ways that we seeked comfort in a world of fear and much to be stressed about in a world of racism, sexism, misogyny, climate disasters and global pandemic with other social and financial pressures. People are struggling mentally. In a world where people self sooth with cigarettes, vaping, alcohol addiction to gambling, why is it taboo to use methods that are safe for children and socially acceptable to ones that could have negative impact on your life and health?
What Is The difference of Age regression and the Inner child?
This question in research Is something that I felt would be good to make sense on the spectrum of age regression and human aging evolution evolution of life span of baby, toddler to teen and adult years and how social norms of age can diverge and what age looks like and how biological aging may differ from social (and society claims we ought to age like) and psychological ageing (meaning mental aging) I want to be able to clear language up. Is age regressive liberation unleashing the ‘inner child’ the first adult pacifier I had ordered on-line with a rush of anxiety and adrenaline of doing something I wanted to try but with a lot of ‘taboo’ around it feels like need to be desecrate, use in secrecy and not really to have pride but judgement can make you feel shame.
The site via e-bay was ‘inner-child a company that focuses on discreet privacy for consumer in delivery serving ABDL communities and disabled and those who are incontinent trading adult nappies, adult pacifiers and adult sized baby bottles. It may be the name of the business but does it match the meaning of inner—child?
The inner child Is a psychological theory that refers to the childlike part of you’re unconscious mind as my online therapy states it’s the ‘free spirited and forgiveness aspects of a child my, innocence and creativity. Some people less so able to display an inner child these can be positive aspects of the theories proposed mental state. But the consequences of the negative impacts may occur from past trauma from early years In your life that yet to be solved and repaired whether it is childhood bullying, emotional abuse, broken home causing lifelong trauma that can result In PTSD or C-PTSD that relates to this complex and chronic PTSD based not of singular events but complex history of trauma, Inner child can cause anxiety and depression. That may need to resolute in reparenting yourself. Where as age regression is adopting a child like state that separates you from the adult world an alternative mental state where regressors or ‘littles’ may have ‘little or smol space’
Finding your inner child maybe keeping an open mind, look to children for guidance recreating child play and the joys of your childhood rereading books you read as a child or the television you watched, revisiting childhood memories, spend time doing things you used to enjoy as a child, talking to your inner-child and talking to a therapist. Health line recommends writing a letter to your inner child, meditation bringing joys of childhood back.
From this inner-child doesn’t mean age regression or age dreaming but could be for some it’s asking, What brought me joy as a child or teenager at my happiest it could be music, books, sport, writing stories, coming up with songs, engaging in art or painting trying varying means of self care. But could. For some if the things that brought them joy from their childhood Is being diapered or sucking an adult pacifier, to watching children’s cartoons. If you may have used these things later than peers or could see them comforting others why not use them to comfort yourself
How Age-regression can occur in Neurodivergent and Disabled Communities?
What verywelhealth.com lists are some traits attributed to autism such as rocking, pacing, whining whichh could be stimming regulatory behaviours to as they list more neurological behavioural traits of Inability to perform tasks they could perform before and becoming as stated in the article mute or non-verbal as is more commonly said In the community non-speaking thees behaviours can more so present in autism burnout and affect children longer than their peers including physical aggression and Inability to self sooth for autistic people who experience meltdowns such things can be signs of neurological developmental delay. What this isn’t what could be voluntary delay or voluntary to some including sucking on a dummy or pacifier, wearing baby like clothes like footed pyjamas and onesies, playing with childlike toys and creating childlike safe space environment to seek comfort, comfort also attributed from sucking on a baby bottle drinking out of a sippy bottle. Such behaviours for neurodivergent or people with mental health issues Is safer alternative using a sippy cup with milk or water is more safer than alcohol drinking much like a pacifier is much healthy and safer than vaping or smoking cigarettes as neither damages your organs.
Some options maybe tools to self sooth and stimulate the urgent need to calm the senses that can be overwhelmed and like child does need remedying. Not bringing the autism into the age but we aren’t by our brains to be able to do what society says we should do for our ages. It also can be a comfort item which since child to adulthood could be something that calms and makes them feel safe like blankets, teddies (plush soft toys), children’s movies or television shows.
The Medical Case for Adult Pacifiers
There are some claims that pacifiers can be used for medical purposes adult pacifier shop preciousheartpacifiers.shop recalled the social stigmas of adult pacifiers even age regression as a whole ‘adult babies’ being fetishised unwillingly harming those non-sexual age-regressors and age dreamers. The person who wrote the blog post stated they have an ‘invisible disability’ making clear that they are able passing which already brings stigma for using disability adjustments (look up Sunflower Lanyard Scheme to understand the path to sole the stigma) branding the stigma ‘This stigma sometimes makes handicap services inaccessible to me because of people who enforce it. It’s the same thing with adult pacifiers. When people assume they are for or say they can only be used in relation to drugs or fetish, they make a legitimate medical item inaccessible to people who could use them.’ Trying to put the stigma around adult pacifiers on level of other disability aids we may need whether AAC devices or wheelchairs. Its ‘kink-shaming’ and ‘sexualisation that has created stigma of uses and little to no public interest to how we change public attitudes. The seller markets their adult pacifiers for medical use not like a lot of online sellers selling to the AB/DL kink community on interest to educate people,
Adult Pacifiers were created for those who have mental health or neurological conditions as an aid to help adults, older children and teenagers finding a purpose to market In the Infancy of the product. Like what got the brand Chewigem of the ground was to sell Chewigem’s chewllery to neurodivergent Autism, ADHD and Sensory Processing Differences. With Insomnia, anxiety, using CPAP machines, autism and with additional learning disabilities often labelled ‘special needs’, bruxism (teeth grinding - something of which I do day and night), fear even with good teeth can be what dentist thinks and this can be stigma and caution for parents of and those adults wishing to use adult pacifiers. Teeth grinding on its own can damage teeth and adult pacifiers If you don’t like mouth guards can prevent further damage. Its habitual stim behaviour.
Sucking an adult pacifier can improve the quality of sleep medically prescribed medication for sleep might not always improve sleep (not a proven scientific statement but personal anecdotal experience, all experiences of medicine use may differ). But like with a baby they sooth to sleep I wonder why allistic culture Is so focused on weaning children of their pacifiers, surely allowing your child to suck one would cause easier nights and no conflict between you and your child when the pacifier doesn’t damage. It can have impact of more rested sleep and with CPAP machine mask uses more comfortable sleep. Why are we excluded from less comfortable sleep?.
From Preciousheartpacifiers.shop comment section it was met with many of thanks for such promotion of medical uses of adult pacifiers one using CPAP Machine, one brought at request of her autistic daughter to help her stop biting and chewing on nails and her phone, one with bruxism, one for sister with brain tumours and anxiety.
The Impact of Stigma to Autism and Neurodivergent Communities
To see it as childish may stigmatise and prevent this behaviour being normalised and not consenting to being seen as childish for ‘age dreamers’ and ‘age regression’ and those who don’t identify under these terms this shouldn’t be sign of immature and patronise and condensed those who do. We need the skill of self soothing and ‘child like’ behaviours for adults like age regression is a form of self soothing and lessening anxiety and depression its something that needs to be consensual and the power must be in the persons hands this lack of power can have impact of how someone regresses or age dreams Impacting their confidence to openly to do so. As even it maybe retreating to a child we It’s a different lifestyle of adulting ‘not adulting’. But an age difference defying age social norms and values making the argument age Is just a number and what an adult someone biologically of adult age is able to do In personal life what they wish If is consensual and not harming another person. We can change perceptions to make this feel safe to make ourselves feel safe. It should seem mature and grown-up to be wise enough to use your own mind and agency to decide how to self sooth and regulate. It is mature to take a step of bravery and move from social norms as it prevents damaging behaviours. As I write this I am reflecting on the thoughts of Ashleigh J Mills’ tweets on this topic they have done threads on autism unmasking. Ageism and ableism often co-occur autistic communities and disabled communities are often infantilised in areas out of our control.
Conclusion
In conclusion, to sum up on this topic of what it means to be ‘too scared to age regress’ as in the introduction stated reflecting on the model of what ‘age regression’ and age-divergent behaviours look like for those who are disabled, with invisible disabilities or mental health, mental illness or at general self-care self soothing mental health wellbeing practices. It can be something over-stigmatised can help liberate people but help sooth and ease past trauma and be more healthy alternative than addictve substances like drugs or alcohol. Why do we have to give up what made us happy as a child? To be a sad and miserable shoud’nt be something expected in emergence in adulthood. If it can help many peoples mental health and wellbeing. Why not do it? Its only societal judging lurking eyes of shame that causes the fear and anger and keeps age-regression as being ‘unheathy’ and weird’
What I’ve found out overtime on this focused interest of mine
Below are some of the resources of the best resources that helped me understand and learn about age regression and if want to remove the stigma and understand it look at these great resources that found overtime. These resources will be positive about age regression so not all resources that used in resources such as physchological reporting and medical publications may not link. But with quick google you can find the other side and nuances. Alot of websites will recommend therapy talking therapies this can be helpful for those who do with trauma. But I don’t want to misrepresent the feelings and words of the community that is why not all will be listed as I wont have it defined as unhealthy but can be unhealthy.
- BBC Three’s 2010 series presented by Russel Kane ‘Freak Like Me’ only commissioned for one series described to uncover the nations ‘weird and wonderful habits’ honing on those things we ‘question if we are normal or not’ the programme set out to challenge what goes beyond the cultural norms beyond the norms of society stating ‘we fret about those odd things we do when no ones looking’ kind of the motive of this article ‘but, behind clothese doors, everyone has odd habits — being freaky, it turns out, is actually the norm’. Issue with the purpose of the programme could come across still stigmatise, pointing out peoples habits though ‘it’s actually the norm’ labelled ‘freak’ and ‘norm’ stigmatises behaviours. I question does it help? The clip featured on the youtube below features 18 year old fashion student, Annie, who in the clip ‘still sucks a dummy’ the description ‘she even gets jealous of babies sucking dummies in their pram’. This is the first ever clip I can remember talking about anything that comes to an adult using a dummy even if it is a childs dummy not an adult sized one. I’ve watched it hundreds of times. Sometimes I seek comfort in those expressing their natural selves, authentic selfs. To have seen it on BBC it is representation of behaviours associated with Age-regression and age dreaming. She states her reasoning to use a dummy as its relaxing stating ‘for smokers they need a cigarette, but I need my dummy’ she also states ‘ when shes angry, stressed or figitating she will sneakily have a suck of her dummy. The clip shows her using one in a fashion store dressing room corner and out near a coffee shop.
2. Jamie and Lion’s Spaced Out smiling blog
Jamie is someone I follow on twitter and openly is a little another term in the age regression community to mean an age-regressor. Jamie a semi-speaking autistic adult with ADHD and an injury that has impacted his mobility who also was the first person who I sent a photo of me using a dummy after I seen him using one himself on social media it caused bit of anxiety as still breaking of the shame of ever used one and yet to use one again after like 2019. Something made clear was anxious to shared publicly. I trusted Jamie as he is authentic, judgement free person who makes for an excellent speaker within the community, he also has hosted a podcast on autism at the BBC and spoken at events. He is an inspiration in my on-going journey of masking. He is proud he can embrace it and enjoys most little things of the culture of age regression.
In his webpage Jamie discusses his autism and age regression with presentatiosn of speeches he has delivered reviews of product he uses blogging on general life. He has written a lot about being a little as it is his lifestyle him embracing his inner autism joy ‘it makes his heart sing’ to live in a ‘toddlery’ way he describes seeking fun in what is bouncy, playful, colourful and joyful. Since his injury he has been using a buggy that fits an adult sized body as an alternative to a wheelchair as a dislike of medical and clinical choices. Even before his injury a buggy has helped manage sensory overwhelm in noisy and bright spaces allowing to act as a safe sensory cocoon that would enable space to recharge and re-energise after loss of spoons and the challenges in a world where senses are hightened.
His blog adresses how he approaches life like a 5 year old to give sense of joy and find his most safe and happy. For Jamie it’s his most natural autistic self. Many blogs you can read on buggies and strollers, masking, meltdowno, independence, communication to baby sitters. It explores his diaries of being autistic, ADHD, being little to his interests and more. well worth a read
https://spacedoutandsmiling.com/
3. Precious Heart Boutique Pacifier Store
a link to the article previously discussed earlier in the post that reflects from a person with an invisible disability how pacifiers for adults can be marketed to the disabled market
4. Help please Adult Dummys/Pacifiers Female Forum
There are only a few forum sites still active from when first looked up this many forum sites where people would ask the taboo and ask questions they would only be comfortable asking to the internet without using a profile picture and using your own name Yahoo Answers and The Experience Project where I’ve read several forum questions until such sites sadly got deactivated in the demise of the forum. This is one of the few that I’ve read several times. Forums are great for such communities as they give the only space where we can see people widely freely accessible talking about taboo topics and feeling safe in sharing that you might not on twitter, facebook or instagram. I also find its an excellent guide of one thread of conversation where you can read the community telling stories.
This forum thread is a good story of a mother and daughter relationship with using dummies. The original post describes a daughter of the age 13 who still used a dummy who uses it around the house and outside of the home. The daughter found an 18 year old girl on the internet using the adult sized Nuk 5 pacifier and asked whether she should buy it for her daugher, enquiring to the forum. She then brought a couple Nuk 5 pacifiers after multiple request seeing it safer than drug use her daughter loved them and made her happy which made her happy. She then requested if her daughter would still ever give up the dummy she said ‘No!’
Her mother wondered what her child saw from a dummy with an adult sized pacifier, she thought she try herself. She was surprised and told daughter who was happy for her mother and her mother like daughter became addicted and embraced it and found it more relaxing than what she felt in years and improved her wellbeing. When her daughter had boyfriend she was willing to open about her habit. Both encourage others to try too!
Other repliers shared of how used them for trauma or found them missing from childhood oor how they help snooring and dry throat for them and how it helps with mental health issues but many share fear of sharing their dummy addiction with anyone else including parents describing embarrassment of being noticed using one in a car. one describing preferences for a tommy tippee style round teat the first dummies I tried were round shaped from local pharmacy would love to try an adult sized round teet.
Later, on in time her mother stated her daughter was performing well in school and that her school work has improved of being happy and chilled out studying with her dummy in her mouth everytime she studies from home.
What made her daughter open up to her mother thinking there was a problem daughter was silent until reluctantly sharing she brought a pacifier from a pharmacy she found comfort and it went from there to the point where she only takes it out for eating and going out.
Even with some occasional issues with teeth (which can occur from bruxism anyway) it is important to use adult sized ones for the protection of teeth.
In the end the mother who created the thread reported when her daughter moved out of home with boyfriend from 10 years of publishing. Her boyfriend accepts her choices there are dummies around her flat her mother uses them. But surprised that more people arent talking about them when there are thousands out there using them.
Maybe it isnt just blogging
https://www.femalefirstforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=266082
5. ADISC
The largest and only (to my own knowlege) on-line forums esclusively for the AB/DL age regression community
6. Pacifiers R Us
https://pacifiersrus.com/ a store selling adult sized modified pacifiers with sister site https://www.adultpacifier.com/ selling pacifiers with adult mouth shield guards. Products maybe expensive
7. Bumble Pree
A YouTube and Instagram content creator with MS (multiple schlerosis). She doesnt identifies with either ABDL or Age-regressive but is dependent on using adult diapers for incontinence and having an overactive bladder. Pree creates videos on her diagnoses of MS and reviews adult diapers and incontinence products. She is an ally and supportive of the ABDL community and has talked about the community in her videos and have viewers from the community and taken recommendations and advice on the best diapers to try from the community. She is effective at tackling the ageism and ableism and stigma of needing to use adult diapers
https://www.bumblepree.com/blog-1
8. NotBabyMinii/Pacifier Project
Follow them on social media via Instagram and TikTok with over 200K followers on TikTok they are one of the larget or if not the largest age regressor, little smol space account on the platform. They educate others on age regression but share how they regress and how it brings comfort and safety to themselves. As they are Autistic, ADHD and have C-PTSD they make clear their age regression is non-sexual or not kink related. Their age in little space when they regress is 0–9 but actually 21. They call their little space ‘minii space’. They also have an online store trading adult pacifiers costom designed by them on request of the consumer
